Thursday, October 30, 2008

A good pair?

Some people might say that Tetsu and I make a good pair. We chat a lot while we walk in the mornings. We try do things together on the weekends. This may not seem so unusual to American friends, but many couples in Japan don't really get to spend too much time together once they are married. The husbands work until 9:00 or later. If children are in the family, the mother ends up doing a lot of club activities on the weekends. Baby sitting is frowned upon so husband and wife rarely if ever go out once children are born.

Last weekend I had a "discussion" with Tetsu about his recent lack of time with me. This has been an ongoing discussion for nearly 30 years. He comes home around 10:30. He often works on weekends. Let's just say I wasn't too happy with him. Since I had Sunday afternoon to myself I decided to do some household shopping. I wasn't in a very good mood but while I was out I wandered into the women's clothing section of a department store and found a shirt that was nice. Not great but nice.

"Hmph. I'm going to buy myself this shirt. It is nice. I know I don't need it but I want it."

It was only about $20 but still I spent some time debating if I should splurge on myself. In the end I went ahead and bought myself the unnecessary shirt and came home in a better mood.

I think it is interesting that I don't question or particularly mind opening up my wallet for some things while others will make me stand and debate the pros and cons for quite a long time. I agonize over things for myself and even for the house, but I can budget and willingly pay $100 for some minor vet bill. Another place I don't really mind spending money is at the fabric shop. I mean if the bill teeters towards $100 then I get a little concerned but that only happens once a year or so (I also make numerous trips in order to fool myself.)

I realized another place that I hardly bat an eye is at the yarn shop. Even though I was a bit put out at Tetsu this weekend, I also made a stop at the yarn shop (they were having a sale) and purchased enough yarn for the vest that I will make him for Christmas. That is 30 years of sweaters and vests that I've made him and if I computed it all, a lot of yen spent! Though I would never pay the same amount of money in a store for an item of clothing for him (or anyone!) I don't mind the paying a lot for yarn. It keeps me busy for a month or so, and it is proof to Tetsu that even though we may not always see eye to eye all the time, that a lot of love is knitted up into his yearly present. If I didn't make him a vest or a sweater he'd really think something was wrong!

Here is Tetsu looking spiffy for some important meeting he was headed out to. I usually only show pictures of him sprawled on the sofa or doing some sort of carpentry task. Here's hoping that we can do something fun together this weekend. (By the way, Tetsu cooked dinner for me on Tuesday night! And he came home early to do it! Great husband!)


anne bebbington said...

As we say in the UK - He does scrub up nicely! :o)))

Connie W said...

I know quilters who feel the same way about spending and will be very frugal in many areas but at the quilt shops not so much. Luckily we can pick and choose the expenditures that are the more important ones and it can vary for everyone. I find that in the past I would cough up the dough for clothing and pay full price but that is something I will rarely do anymore unless it's an important purchase to me. I think these days especially everyone is trying to be extra careful. The best way for me to not spend impulsively is to stay out of stores. Period.

Tetsu is looking very nice all spiffed up. Nice photo.

June said...

My Sunday School teacher once told us that God created men and women different for a purpose. Men can't help but put business/work first (it used to bother me that with my late husband, I came dead-last, his work was always first). Women on the other hand, are created to nurture and create a home. It sounds to me like your marriage is "normal". Rejoice that your husband is alive and comes home every night!! (I wish mine did.) You and Tetsu make a beautiful couple!

Una said...

Same here. Sometimes I debate so long about stuff for myself that most of the times the clothes in my size are already sold out ;-) On the other hand I don't bat an eyelid if I have to cough up money for my two pups Cenour and Chandini. Wether it's vet bills or material for making dog harnesses or quilt stuff. :)
I guess clothes are secondary :)

Tetsu does clean up nicely. I hope my husband and I will be still talking in 20 years from now. :)

Mary said...

Keith works long hours and weekends too and I try not to complain too much since it allows me not to work but sometimes I have to put my foot down and demand some time for US. It also doesn't help that he's a morning person, up way before me and I'm a night person and go to bed hours after he does but somehow it works.

I also find it easier to spend money on my quilting than on personal items but the exception for me is books. I ordered 5 online just today - 2 for my Kindle and 3 paperbacks that I'll pass along to my Mom after I read them. I just can't resist books!

Roseanne said...

My husband dose not spend much time with me ether. That why I sew. He has gone away with his mates fishing this week end .Has time for them. I dont care I will do some sewing.

Mrs. Goodneedle said...

My husband and I have spent more time together in the past four months than we ever have, in 33 years! (He retired at the end of June.) I was worried that we wouldn't have enough to talk about or do together; although it has taken some getting used to respecting one another's time and space there's been no lack of conversational topics or activities we can enjoy together. Great post, Tanya!

teodo said...

Ciao Tanya
Happy Hallowen!

Thanks for the little cat tutorial and for the wonderful quilts.......I like very much the Kimono girl and the quilt with the flowers.
ciao ciao

teodo said...

of course you and Tetsu are a good couple.......
Sometimes here in Italy a man and a woman can spend only weekends together...and sometimes they have such different interests that they spend also the weekend on their own.
In Italy we say: "L'amore non è bello se non è litigarello" - that means: Love isn't beauty if the couple doens't fight a bit.
ciao ciao

Christine Thresh said...

You and Tetsu are a good couple because you don't fret about things you cannot change.

artfilstitch said...

You and Tetsu make a great onesome! "He provideth and me spendeth"! :>) I know his vest will be beautiful.

Katie said...

Tetsu is very handsome! :-)

I understand retail therapy. There are some days when nothing else will make me feel better!