We reminisced yesterday about our first meeting. Leiya was only a few months old. Mrs. Kaneko's daughter was a few months older... We were both letting our four year old sons play in the empty kindergarten yard. Mrs. Kaneko had moved into our neighborhood, she was enrolling her son in Takumi's class, she too was Christian. Our first conversation brought out those common denominators...(Well, there I am holding Leiya, and there is Mrs. Kaneko holding her daughter. Takumi is next to me... and Mrs. Okutomi's twins... Mrs. Kaneko's son was probably running around catching bugs... We used to call him "Bug Professor".)
Together we have led Bible studies and took care of each other's children. We have dressed out daughters in kimono together (and ourselves!) and have agonized through our sons' confounding jr. high school years. I've given advice on puppy care and she has supported me through pet loss. In recent years we have commiserated over problems with aging mother-in-laws. Mrs. Kaneko often made the drive to visit me... and not many friends do that! I'm too far out in the country, and we have picnicked and hot spa-ed and chatted and chatted and chatted over coffee!I think Mrs. Kaneko and I have had full blown out arguments twice... but I don't remember what the arguments were about... just that we had a difference of opinion, feelings were hurt... AND WE MADE IT THROUGH THE DIFFERENCES TO A STRONGER FRIENDSHIP. That is so important and maybe rare. So many times friends go separate ways if they can't agree...
Yesterday I picked up boxed lunches for Mrs. Kaneko and her husband and myself and we did last minute errands and then ate lunch in the park. Her house, which 20 plus years ago she had delightedly shown me construction plans, had been packed up and taken away. We sat on the floor and wandered through empty, dark rooms. Even Mrs. Kaneko's dog was feeling lonely!
Well, we have the telephone and e-mail and chat and other sources for staying in touch. I can pretend that she is in the next city over when I talk to her now... It's not hard to imagine...Still, I'm wondering when we will be chatting over coffee again.
6 comments:
I've had the same best friend for 35 years. We met at a joint birthday party for her and a friend of mine. I moved away back in 1995, but, we remain best friends to this day. My sons call her 'Aunt' and her kids call me the same thing. Her daughter even has my middle name (born years after I moved away). I know it hurts (been there, done that) but, you both can visit when you can. I'm 1200 miles away, but, we still call and text and email often. Mrs K is still around, just farther away than before.
I understand your feelings of pain and loss. My BFF of 50+ years lives too far away for us to see each other very often. But the internet makes a big difference. It makes it so easy to stay in touch, whether you have a lot to say or just want to send a brief note or picture. I know that you will miss Mrs K, but I'm sure you will stay in touch.
Oh Tanya, I have teary eyes from reading your post about your friendship with Mrs. K...and know this is a hard thing for you...there's just no other way about it...wishing I could give you a hug, but since I can't do it personally...put your left arm over your right shoulder, put your right arm over your left shoulder and SQUEEZE...consider yourself hugged by Pat in IN (btw, Angie adores the contents of the package you sent:)
I really feel for you.Saying good-bye to such a good friend really hurts. All my dearest friends have now left Japan. Yes, there is e-mail but somehow it is not the same. I find some of my blogging friends are beginning to fill a very empty spot and look forward to meeting one of those in person in just two weeks.
Long time friends are a treasure--and it's obvious you two feel that way about one another :) What a great thing to have in your lives.
It is so hard. My best friend moved last year from right down the street, only to the next city over....but we rarely see each other now...although we talk on the phone every night. I think though, you two are so close in heart, your friendship can weather anything.
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