I have been teaching English to my little 6th grade N-chan for.... nearly 6 years! She has always been a cheery, motivated, show-offy sort of student. When she was in a class she would get upset if I didn't call on her and her ability has always been far above students even older than she. When everyone else graduated to jr. high last year, she wanted to stay on and so she's been having a private lesson each week. I have tried to treat her as an adult... for example serving tea while we study English, using the dining room table rather than the room where I teach children. We've played games and cooked and sewn together. All in all I think we have had an enjoyable 6 years.
But last night N-chan turned ornery and lazy, propping her head on her elbow... giving me grunts to questions. After the third "Whatever" I lost my temper and slammed books shut and asked her to explain her attitude problem or go home. We faced off in a silent stare for a minute or two and N-chan grudgingly mumbled that she was tired.
Let's say... I'm not surprised. Not that she's tired, that she has an attitude problem. Hey, she's going into her teens soon. This is what pre-teenagers do! I don't think I have EVER had a pre-teen student (including my own children) that hasn't had me wishing I'd chosen a different profession! I've sent students home, I've stormed out myself until an apology was given, I've called parents and asked them to reconsider the student's English motivation, I've lectured and scolded and explained my position (... and I mangle the Japanese language so when I'm upset. I wonder if anyone even understands what I'm sputtering about.)
Whether N-chan and I repaired our relationship after 15 minutes of mumbling (her) and sputtering (me), I won't know until next week I guess. She SAID she wants to continue until March (when she graduates) but other students have never come back after one of these confrontations. It makes me sad because I have put a lot of time and effort and LOVE into making English enjoyable and encouraging each student to develop as they can. After one of these episodes I fear the student will hate me (who cares about that!) and for the rest of their lives will have negative connotations about English.... because I lost my temper once.
"Education is..." Well, I've lost my temper and my confidence both. You know... most of these students never say boo to me again even after 6 years of coming weekly to my house. Now WHY did I want to be an English teacher?
12 comments:
I can understand your frustration, Tanya. I'm sorry this happened, but as you said, preteen is a very tough time. I'm sure as the kids look back, they do appreciate your time, effort and your love...even if they don't express it to you.
Hugs.
i totally understand what you are saying ... i have cared for my grandson at least three days each week for the past twelve years - everything from changing his diapers to teaching him to cross the street to running interference between him and his parents to helping him with his homework to cleaning up his barf when he is sick ... for the past year he has become so disrespectful and mean-spirited that i avoid being in the same room with him ... sigh ... Robert Frost probably didn't have to deal with sub-adults...
You can only do what you can do. When the little dears hit the nasty stage it's time to send them home to be their parents' problem. There will always be other English students. Sounds callous, I know, but it's just the way it is. Don't let it get to you too much.
Amen to what the others said.
It is hard to keep your temper when met with snottiness and lack of caring in those preteens! Or any age child, for that matter :) Hope your temporary outburst doesn't mean the student writes you off. Teaching is a hard profession!
Awwwwww. That's tough. :( :(
I can't think that there's a teacher anywhere who hasn't lost their rag at some time, and then felt guilty and a bit ashamed afterwards, and with their confidence knocked. All I can say is, that youngsters need to learn that teachers are human too and need to be treated with care and consideration.
I doubt that Robert Frost ever had to deal with pre-teens .... lol ... now take a nice deep breath and think of all the good you have done for your students. When I was teaching a friend gave me a sign that says Teaching is ... to touch a life forever.
I was a preschool director for 5 years. LOVED the little kids. I don't do well with kids between 11-14. They just know how to 'pull my chain' and I don't have much patience with them. By the time they get in high school, they are finally getting easier to get along with. I can understand you losing your temper. Those hormones just aren't easy to deal with.
Frustration. Yes, it can be so frustrating. You are so very devoted to what you do. If you weren't, you wouldn't be concerned about this episode.
Huge hugs,
Lois
It sounds like she needed a little "tough love". Regardless of her attitude, her tiredness or her developmental stage, a major lesson in adult life is that she has to get over it; none of these things are license to be rude. Wait - I know a lot of adults that never learned that either!
I read your entry this morning and have been mulling over it. It took me back to a chapter of my life when I was a Sunday School teacher and a Confirmation teacher. There was a very trying group of teen boys one year, and I suffered a meltdown similar to yours.
Fast-forward to the present, and I am happy to be friends with those "problem" kids, most of whom are in college or beyond.
Post a Comment