Friday, April 19, 2013

Mom thoughts

Let's see.... A little frustration today.  I spent some time talking on chat with Leiya yesterday.  She is supposedly graduating from college next month but she doesn't have much information at hand.

"Are you really graduating?"

"I think so...  I just have to pass my classes..."

Well, I should hope so!

And the reason I don't know much more (I don't know what her excuse is) is because I am not going to her college graduation...  Hmmm...  I'm not sure that was a good decision or not...  It is hard for me to get away at any time other than summer... May wasn't a great time especially because flights out of Japan are expensive during Golden Week.  But BOTH my children have graduation ceremonies in May...  Takumi from graduate school, Leiya from college.  I really had planned to go to Ohio to hers...

"Don't come, Mom.  It isn't that important to me.  I don't have a car to take you places or time to do things with you while I'm trying to move.  I need to go to job interviews.  I need money anyway if I'm going to try and buy a car or put down payments on a new apartment.  Let's spend the money that way."

My daughter, like me, is so practical. 

So I decided not to go to Ohio... and not to go to the States until July as usual.

With my children on the other side of the Pacific, they have gotten used to making their own decisions and I have gotten used to doling out very little advice...  I'm sure if we all lived closer I would be making a lot of Mom noises and Leiya would be irritated and annoyed.

Leiya is trying to buy a car.  I'm not really happy that my daughter will be out on the roads but she is 23.

"Find some guy who knows cars to go with you!"  (She interprets this as I don't trust her judgement about cars.  Maybe true.)

Leiya is looking for a new apartment.  She talks of house sharing with strangers.

"I don't want you sharing an apartment with boys you don't know.  Find an apartment that has only girls."

"Mom, it's not like I'd be sleeping in the same room with them.  We'd just be sharing the kitchen and living room."

Still....  I hold to not sharing an apartment with boys...  Whether Leiya will take my advice or not is another thing.

It is hard not to worry and not to conjure up worst-case scenarios.

Always a mother...


Yuki said...

Great photo. Hope you don't mind, that I shared it with some of my Christian friends.

ttfn :) Yuki

Julie Fukuda said...

I multiply every word times six. Yes, it is hard to be a mother hen with chicks so far away.

Nancy J said...

Ditto to Yuki, and Tanya, once a Mom, always, try not to worry, they must surely have a level head and good,safe and true values in life, after all, you and Tetsu will have given them this in heaps. Greetings from Jean

Cheryl's Teapots2Quilting said...

My oldest son, also 23, will be graduating (if he passes all his classes) in May. I get what you are going thru, even tho I get to go to his graduation. Both my sons are in college, one 450 miles away, the other is 750 miles away from home. Not as far as your kids, but, still too far to see them much. At least I will have them both home for the summer, at least until the oldest one finds a job. Gotta enjoy them while I can.

Cassandra said...

Pray about everything, worry about nothing. That is such hard advice to follow!!

AnnieO said...

Giving advice to young adults can feel like a complete waste of time, I know! My youngest DD's also 23, and ferociously independent. Most of the time :) I do get plaintive calls or "miss you" texts every so often. We're going to her college graduation next month, and even though it is only one state away, it is still expensive since her brother and sister want to come too!

Marlene said...

Oh Tanya!
This takes me back a couple of years! It sounds like a quote from my past!! Things do eventually work out, but it is an ongoing process....always!
Hope to see you soon and really TALK.