"You are doing a lot of swimming. That is good. Have you gained some weight recently?"
I punched him in the arm.
"You're not supposed to say that to a lady! No woman wants to be told she's gained weight!!"
"Oh, I am so sorry. I apologize. It is not good manners to tell a woman she has gained weight. I, myself am battling "Metabo" (an expanding waistline). It is because of my age. Excuse me, how old are you?"
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But actually I wanted to cut up my swimsuit into little pieces and go eat a box of chocolates.
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