10:00 (or later!)

I probably shouldn't tell tales about my husband, but there is one situation that I've learned to live with that I have never been happy about. Since I stand sort of between two cultures I'm not really sure if I have grounds to complain or not and since we've been married 27 years obviously I've adjusted my thinking.

What time would you say is a reasonable time for a husband to come home after work? In my family, Tetsu leaves for work around 8:00 in the morning and his return time is around 10:30 at night. Doesn't this seem odd to you? When I was a child my father left before the rest of the family woke up and was home around 4:00. My brother too, leaves in the morning while it is still dark but he too can be home by 4:00. In my brother's case, this means he and his wife can go shopping together, he can do the duties of taking the kids to softball and soccer practice etc. and the family often goes out to dinner together. If nothing else, this is typically Californian.

When Tetsu and I were first married he worked in an office and he was one of the underlings. He was never able to leave the office before 9:00 at night and I found this very difficult to understand but his explanation was,

"Tanya, how could you expect a mere office person to leave from work before the office manager! No way!"

So I kept quiet. As we were transferred around the county Tetsu worked in various offices and it was always the same. Quite a few years later when he had moved up in the company, I'd question why he worked until 9:00 or 10:00 and his response was,

"Tanya, how could you expect someone who is supposed to train and be an example to the inexperienced to leave from work before his underlings! No way!"

It seems anyway you look at it Tetsu is going to work until late at night.

The most difficult years for me were when the kids were little and it was no longer what I could or could not put up with. Now the whole issue included his not being part of raising a family. He was never home! The kids and I would eat alone every night and they'd get a glimpse of dad in the morning before they went to school. I felt like a single mother without the wear and tear of making a living financially.

This situation is not limited to just my family. Of course there are Japanese families where the father is around more, but I think the majority of Japanese men work very long hours and leave the raising of the children, the keeping of the house, the budgeting and the taking care of elderly parents entirely to the wife. Husbands and wives do not go out together as a couple. Men have their business associates to do things with, women have freedom to go out to lunch with women friends or follow their own hobbies while the kids are at school. Occasionally on a Sunday the family will have time together but husbands call this "required service to the family" and with sighs and guffaws they'll explain to their co-workers that they can't go golfing or out drinking because they have to put in family time.

You can see why this can cause some stress in a marriage especially when the husband is Japanese and the wife foreign, with different expectations. Tetsu doesn't drink nor play golf so usually I decide I have little cause for complaint since he is devoting his time completely to supporting us. Still... By the way, today is Saturday but he is off at work. And most holidays Tetsu works too.

I have to count my blessings though because many of my friends' husbands work for a major company in the city and they work until the early hours of the morning! This means that except for once a week on the weekend, the wife never has to prepare a meal for her husband. The company provides all meals in the corporation's cafeteria. The husbands claim the food is pretty good too! And my friends can cook something simple that the kids like so no one really complains.

Another thing I'd have a hard time handling is the situation where the company transfers the husband to another city or another country and the family is left while the husband goes off for four or five years! Of course there are business trips back so the husband can make a pit stop at his own home every few months but I don't think I'd last long with a family life like that!

Now that Tetsu and I are in our 50s and the kids are both out of the house I'm back to my own level of accepting the situation or occasionally making noise about the lack of time we spend together as a couple. Granted, because of Tetsu's late hours this means that I can teach in the evenings until 8:30 and I don't have to worry about getting a meal ready for him the minute the students leave. And honestly speaking, some of my grumblings are determined by my own moods. There are loads of times when I am quite happy that I have all those late evening hours free because it means that much more sewing time!

Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus

Since I was out Christmas shopping today and have just come home I guess there's no need to repeat the old lament that I have not done any sewing nor been creative in any way whatsoever.

So here are some more decorations. I had some of the English kids put them up last night. The kids don't appear to be excited about decorating so sometimes I wonder if I'm slave driving them.

"Here is a thumbtack. Find someplace to put this on a wall."

"Put some decorations on this side of the tree. It looks bald."

The kids look at me like I'm crazy...

I must have made these two hangings way back before Tetsu and I had children. They've weathered the years pretty well don't you think? These were from a kit and looking at them brings back memories of my early days of handwork.

When I was a child my family would go off during the summers to different places in the world and it meant long waits in airports and many hours spent on airplanes not to mention evenings in hotel rooms with a TV broadcasting in a language we couldn't understand. I am grateful to my parents for showing me the world but one of my fondest memories is of doing crewelwork to pass away the hours. (I can't remember what my brother was doing on those trips.) Every year before our trip my mother would take me to a handcraft store to pick out a crewel kit and I would have to wait until we were actually at the first airport before she'd let me break out the needle and yarn. Isn't it true nowadays that we aren't allowed to take scissors and needles on the airplane? Not so when I was still in grade school. I remember one year when I must have been 12 or 13 that some strange man sitting next to me on the plane had a little too much to drink and his hands got out of control. I complained to my father and Dad, who was never one to coddle his children told me to stab the man with my needle! Which I did! Which solved the problem! A very un-Christmas memory but anyway, crewelwork was my first start at working with my hands.

And here is a more modern piece of handwork from a pattern in some recent magazine (recent meaning in the last 10 years). Sorry I can't find the magazine but I did stumble upon the same wall hanging on one of the quilting blogs (and I can't remember whose that was either!) I love it but I really think it needs a Mrs. Santa Claus in red alongside it. Anyone have a red-work Mrs. Santa Claus that might be adapted? If so, let me know!

Knitting

Since there is nothing else to show you today I decided to go ahead and take a picture of my as yet unfinished vest for Tetsu. I had put the band on the bottom but decided I didn't like it so removed it and am trying again. Usually I use a different stitch when putting on the collar and arm holes (gosh I don't even know what it's called in English!) but this pattern called for a rolled collar and arm holes and a loose bottom. I didn't like the bottom part but I guess I can live with the collar and arm holes. I don't know about Tetsu.

And since I ran out of yarn I'm doing this in dark grey which seemed a bit strange so I'm planning to put in little cross stitches across the chest to tie it together. I'm not sure if this is going to be successful or not... The shoulders look big at this point but Tetsu is fairly large for a Japanese man so it may be okay.

My first attempt at knitting was when I was madly in love with Tetsu (of course I still am!) when we were dating. I decided to knit him a cable vest. Hah! I bought yarn, two needles and a book and came home and said "Ok. Now what do I do?" I had absolutely no idea how to knit. Isn't love wonderful! My friend explained to me that to do cables I'd need to use three needles not to mention four or five for the collar and arm holes too so back I went to the yarn store. I'll have you know I made that vest and he did wear it for a few years. Actually probably that first attempt was so challenging that ever since then I've been able to overcome numerous difficult patterns and really enjoy knitting. Japanese knitting books aren't really as difficult as you might think because they provide a visual pattern not abbreviations and the "code" as I've seen in English books. So maybe being able to knit in Japanese isn't really all that big an accomplishment.

Every year at Christmas since that first vest, I've knitted Tetsu a sweater or a vest. For awhile I would go for the most difficult pattern I could find, cables, Aran patterns, Lopi patterns, yoke collars, zippers, pockets, raglan sleeves etc. But Tetsu finally admitted that he really preferred a plain ol' knitted sweater without all the intricate work. I guess I figured that out myself because obviously the sweaters he wore were the plain ones. And recently he says sweaters are too bulky for wearing at the office so would I just make him a plain vest.

My pride says "I could make him a much more elaborate sweater." but a simple vest is a time saver and for him the simpler is better. If it makes him happy...

I WILL finish this vest this week!

Cats

Ok. Cat haters can skip this post. There were a couple of questions about cats so though I certainly don't know much more about cats than my own I'll see if I can enlighten anyone to cats in Japan.

QuiltingFitzy wanted to know if cats are bigger in Japan than in America. Actually I've never noticed so maybe not but then again, if anyone looked at my cats they would probably say maybe they are. I thought cats everywhere were the same size and comparing my mother's cats in California and my own I'd say their bone structure is the same size. Three of my cats though are big and Patora is huge (I've got to do something about that). Right now the problem is that I'm trying to feed Lemi more and so anytime she looks interested I open a can of food for her. However, the other cats come like buzzards and the second Lemi looks up or loses interest the rest of them finish off the food. I'm spending a lot of money feeding cats who are way too overweight anyway! I had always thought that cats would stop eating when they were full, whether food was out for them or not, but not Patora. She eats her food, everyone else's food, breaks in to potato chip bags, cookie boxes etc. Very Fat Cat! So Quiltfitzy, the answer is yes and no.

Calico Cat wanted to know if Japanese still tie knots in cats' tails. Still? I never knew they did! I'll have to ask my vet about that one but I don't think a cat would let you do that to them would they? I have heard that some people thought that cats tails were bobbed but that too I think is just a story. Is it true that all Calico cats are bobtailed? Anyway, the brown, orange and white cats, what Americans know as Calico cats, are always female and usually have a naturally short tail. They aren't clipped. As for the tie a knot in the tail, I have noticed that most neighbors' cats and even my own have a kink in their tails. It looks like the tails were slammed in the door or something. I think this must be a Japanese cat trait. Even if you can't see the kink, if you run your hand along the tail most Japanese cats have a kink somewhere in them.

Of course there are all sorts of cats around Japan, in all colors but by far, the black striped "Tabby" is the most common. I've got two and sometimes when I'm out walking and see a tabby I have to look twice to see if it is one of mine that has gotten loose.

And a last bit of trivia. The most popular name for a cat in Japan is Tama. I think this means ball and maybe refers to cats tendency to curl into a ball.

(Patora is the orange cat. Her brother Cleo is a bit smaller but not by much recently. Pato and Cleo both have kinks in their tails near the tip. Lemi is our oldest cat and very fluffy. She looks big but actually under all that hair there isn't much there. I'm trying to fatten her up. And this is a nice picture of Velvet. He looks so much like Cleo we have to look at the collars to tell them apart, but they are not related. The marble filled container is the cats' drinking dish)

Christmas preparations

I am slowly getting out Christmas things. I think I must have expressed this feeling last year too but now with just Tetsu and me in the home it doesn't seem as much fun to decorate and get ready for Christmas. But I have lots of Christmas stuff (mostly sent from my mother over the years) so to justify all the storage space the Christmas boxes occupy during the year I really should open them up. Besides, the English children are happy to see the house with a Christmas spirit. Most Japanese don't go to the extent of celebrating Christmas as we do.

Anyway, yesterday when a couple of the kids came early I asked them to carry down a couple of boxes from upstairs ("Oooh! Exploring Tanya's upstairs! I want to go too!") and then I let them hang plastic wreaths, put up the mini creche and put together the artificial tree. The tree is still sitting on the table naked but maybe I can get today's English kids to decorate it for me.

So, here are a couple of my Christmas decorations.

Do you know what tenugui are? They are long, cotton, gauze-like hand towels that have a variety of uses (dishcloth, sweatband, washcloth) but probably since they are usually colorful and have a Japanese pattern on them they are most popular as souvenirs. A little too loose a weave for patchwork unfortunately. This is a tenugui I found one year that I thought was interesting because it didn't have a Japanese pattern. Santa Claus! It looks like it's been made like batik or silk screen but it wasn't very expensive.

And here is my lovely Advent Wreath that I asked an artist friend Mr. Shiozaki, to make for me last year. He makes many lovely wooden pieces and also musical instruments, so I put in an order from him the year before last and this is the second year I've been able to use my wreath. I'm expecting that Mr. Shiozaki is someday going to be very famous and then I'll own one of his originals from his younger days! I really should go into the forest and get some greenery to place around it but this morning it looks like this. All through this season I have the kids light one candle each week (each class) and we sing an advent song and I tell them a brief story of Christmas. Do you know I've had some kids ask me if Christians celebrate Christmas! It makes me realize how much I assume modern Japan knows the gospel when it really doesn't.

"Light the Advent Candle One. Now the waiting has begun.
We have started on our way, time to think of Christmas day."

Garden cats or no?

QuiltingFitzy asked me to explain a Japanese phenomenon of plastic water bottles in the bushes. This is such a common sight that I had forgotten that it once really used to irk me.

I'm sure there are people everywhere who don't like cats and are somewhat upset by having a feline prowler cross their yard or do their business in the garden. What would you do? Some ingenious person in Japan came up with the theory that cats are startled by light so if one filled a large plastic bottle with water and set it in the garden then neighboring cats would be frightened off by the reflected light. I have never seen a cat run away from a water bottle so I have my doubts about the theory. Nevertheless, this was a boom that took over Japan a few years ago and everyone was trying to keep cats away by "decorating" their yards with plastic bottles! Bottles by the cars, bottles in the bushes and whole borders of bottles around the flower beds. This does not seem smart to me because I would think that reflected light could cause a fire but what does a cat-loving American know. I also would much rather have a couple cats decorating my garden than a bunch of old plastic bottles. Frankly speaking it looks like someone has dumped their trash in the yard.

Another recent invention is a plastic black cat with glass marbles for eyes. This is hung in the garden (the wind makes it move) and supposedly the gleaming eyes will keep cats away. My picture off the Internet says "Garden Cat". I'd chose this over the plastic bottles any day but I'd still rather have the cats.

Of course, it seems that the obvious answer "get a dog!" is being overlooked. Choco's barking makes all cats think twice about crossing our yard.

Happy again

The best news first!

The dog we found yesterday has been returned to its owners! Thank you Lord! Forgive me that I didn't have more faith in God. In the Japanese animal shelter system. In the people who own dogs. Thank You for letting us be a link in the chain to help one of Your creatures!

You cannot believe how a little phone call this morning from the animal shelter brightened my day. I feel bad that my moods can be changed by such a small thing. Yesterday after posting Tetsu and I decided to take a picture of the dog and after the dog was taken away by the shelter (me in tears) we made posters and set out on a mission to find the dog's owner. We went around the farming areas accosting people out peacefully walking their own dogs showing them the picture and asking if they'd ever seen the dog. We hit the vet's offices and asked supermarkets to post the picture. In the end, there was nothing more for us to do though Tetsu now admits he was ready to bring the dog back by the end of the week just to give it more time.

After being away for a few hours we pulled up in our driveway to find Choco sitting on the doorstep! She was loose! Slipped her collar again and who knows how long she had been out gallivanting about! What a nightmare that would have been if she'd gone off and not come back and we would have had to call the shelter again to say we'd lost our own dog! I need to have more faith in Choco too. I didn't think she cared that she was our dog or not and that at first chance she'd head for the hills and we'd never see her again. Or she'd lose her way, or she'd get hit by a car, or she'd bite some neighbor. I guess not, because she was waiting peacefully for us at the front door. That considerably helped me to count some blessings.

And then this morning's phone call and I am happy, happy, happy!

Ok. Back to quilting things which is what I was hoping to post about. And December is here and I haven't made goals nor reflected on what I did and did not do in November. I stayed caught up with Tonya's class though I haven't got that quilt to flimsy stage yet. BUT, our class had so much fun that we decided to make Tonya some blocks to say thank you and so that she'll remember her first on-line quilting class! This has been a big secret but anyway this month we made blocks and sent them off to Tonya and yesterday we posted our blocks on the class blog. The only instructions were to include your name in the block and this is mine. I was very happy about being able to make Japanese/Chinese characters (well, actually I've only figured out how to make two) so I included the character for cat in my block.

I also stayed caught up on the 365 Challenge though I must admit, I really didn't want to write yesterday's events for posterity.

Tetsu's vest is in the finishing stages (working on the armholes now. I'll post a picture when I'm done.) I ran out of recycled yarn so I've had to make do with some other color for the collar and armholes. Hmm. This may turn into another piece of clothing for me. (My hand knitting that doesn't quite suit Tetsu's tastes come back to my own closet.)

I did get the When-oh-When quilt into one piece though it still needs borders, so that's one flimsy goal that I didn't meet. Ah well. Sometimes you do, sometimes you don't. Any suggestions for the border on this?

For December? Keep up with the 365.

I'd really like to finish Tonya's class quilt but it is a slowly growing quilt.

The vest is a Christmas present so that will definitely have to be finished.

The When-oh-When needs a border.

Oh, and I've got to think of some simple Christmas craft for my English kids! If anyone has made something easy with kids that can be crafted in an hour's time please let me know!

Down

This day has started out badly.

From yesterday there has been a dog wandering around the fields and neighborhood. This morning it was out in front of our house. This sends me into a down spin. What can I do for the stray animals that pass by my house? Pray for them. Sometimes I ignore them though my heart breaks. I close the curtains. I sit and cry. Sometime I bring them home and know that I'm in for a long haul. (Three of our cats and Choco came by my soft heart). Tetsu is also an animal lover and he has brought home a couple too or found their owners for them. So this morning when I found the dog still here I panicked and Tetsu took over. A friendly dog and Tetsu has tied it up in the yard. Choco and the cats are in the house going wild. Both dogs are barking. I've gone out to the farmers to ask if there is a dog lost but no one claims it. And we have called the police and no one has reported a missing dog. We have called the animal shelter. They are coming in an hour. There is not much more we can do.

You say fine, the animal shelter will take over from here. Yes, they will, but the animal shelter has too many stray dogs and cats to deal with. They do not have a good system for helping owners find their pets. If the owner doesn't show within days... well, you know... And unless the dog is a lap dog, I don't think the farmers give much thought to losing an animal. If the animal is stupid enough to not be able to find it's way home then it isn't worth looking for.

I cannot lose my heart over another pitiful animal. There are too many. We have saved it from getting hit by a car and fed it but we cannot keep it as our own. For that I'm sad and relieved.

Persimmons

I'm off and about again but I thought I'd show you some persimmons that were hanging at the kindergarten this week. They have a couple of persimmon trees on the grounds but the trees only produce fruit every other year so I'm not sure if these are home grown persimmons or store bought.

There are various types of persimmons in Japan, some round, some a little flatter and some slightly pointy. The trees lose their leaves quickly in the fall and all that is left are the orange fruit against the very black bark of the tree branches and trunk. I always imagine hundreds of little jack o'lanterns when I see the combination of black and orange together. The flatter persimmons and the round ones make for very good eating right away and also make up into a very nice cake (use the same recipe for apple cake but add ripe persimmons.) However the pointy persimmons are very astringent and can pucker up your whole body at the first bite. I had never eaten persimmons when I lived in the States and didn't even know what people meant when they told me that a certain persimmon would be too astringent to eat. I sure learned when I bit into it! It's a completely different attack on the taste buds that's different from sour! But these astringent persimmons make up into delicious dried persimmons and so at this time of year many people gather persimmons from their trees, peel them and then hang them up in the cold air for a few weeks to dry. They turn into ugly brown things but are soft and for some reason the drying and the frosty air makes them sweet. Magic! People are beginning to dry persimmons around here and they will be ready for eating around New Year's Day.

I have seen pictures of farm houses with screens of persimmons hanging near the windows (they have to be quickly pulled indoors when it rains) and it is a beautiful site with the little knobs of orange hanging from the farmhouse eaves to the ground. Even so, I thought these little double hanging persimmons looked very Japanese. On one string, two persimmons are tied together and hung over a rod right outside the kindergarten classrooms. Probably the kids will be able to take these home at the end of the year and share them with their families. I have tried to make dried persimmons but have forgotten them out in the rain and made a mess instead of a taste treat. Maybe some kind child will give me a bite of his this year...

Friends' creations

I certainly think I need help with organizing myself and getting my time scheduled in a better way. Some of you are so good about getting things done, quilting, cooking, running the kids around, holding down a job, blogging. I've been busy but don't really have anything to show for it. I hate it when I ask my students what they've done this week and they can't remember. "What! All that time you've been given and you don't know what you did with it!?" But that's sort of how it's been with me this week. Where did the time go? What have I been doing? I know what I haven't been doing. SEWING! Most of my day seems to be filled with errands and chores...

Well, I didn't do much sewing today either and today was a patchwork day! I went in to Utsunomiya (the next town over where my patchwork friends live) and we discussed next year's bazaar quilt. I guess we're making another one! I had brought in a few pictures of quilts I liked from books and blogs and we made some simple decisions. The rest of the time was spent chatting, eating and admiring each other's work (if we'd brought any). So even though I spent four hours with my friends I only sewed a few strips on the When-oh-When quilt but I did take pictures of things that my friends are making.

This is Mrs. Ochiai's quilt. She is in the final quilting stages and she is bound and determined to finish it by the end of the year. She's been working on this for quite awhile and the flower blocks have been maturing in her closet for a few years. I threw out the challenge to her earlier this year to put stems on each block every month and she finished that step quickly and is already thinking about binding! This quilt is going on her daughter's bed.



And these next two quilts are actually the same Wicked Easy quilt I raved about how easy it was so Mrs. Harada and Mrs.Furui decided to make their own versions! Isn't this an interesting pattern that such different quilts can result? Mrs. Harada is still quilting the greenish one and Mrs. Furui is finished with her pink one and will send it off to the recipient this week.



One lady, Mrs. Yamaguchi was making a thimble while she chatted, so I took pictures of that process. In Japan traditionally ladies use a leather thimble on the middle section of their middle finger and Mrs. Yamaguchi was sewing a piece of leather together to become her new thimble. She says this is the best way to have a thimble that fits the finger perfectly which makes sense. I still prefer using the metal thimble on the tip of the finger so I don't think I'll make this but it was interesting to watch her sew with it.

And this is Mrs. Furui's latest creation, a needle holder. I've mentioned before that Mrs. Furui loves embroidery. (In one post I said embroidery was Mrs. Furui's first love but she pulled me aside later and corrected me on that. Let it be known that she loves patchwork no less than embroidery!) She has been making quite a few different embroidery patterns for little felt needle booklets, but I fell in love with this hedgehog! I want one!!! I hinted very strongly that I would love to be the owner of the next hedgehog she decides to make so I'll let you know if she ever takes the hint!

Sigh... I wish I could show you something of my own making but alas I'm still doing errands and chores...

Penny pinching

This may not be an interesting post but I thought I'd show you some of the "presents" we have around the house and once again prove to you that I do not understand Japanese culture.

All of these boxes have come from funerals or memorial services in the past few weeks. My goodness, Tanya must know a lot of people who have died! Well, that's not really true. Tetsu works for a convalescent home and he must go to various funerals during the year. The custom in Japan is when there is a funeral is that all the mourners will arrive with envelopes of money and in return they are given a bag that usually has a small bottle of sake (Japanese alcohol), a box of tea or seaweed and a small packet of salt. The salt is for purification and once arriving home after the service, the packet will be opened and the salt tossed around so that evil spirits won't follow you into the house. (This is my rough critique). The sake must have some purification meaning too and I find it handy to use in my cooking. I don't know why tea and seaweed play an important part of the gift giving.

Here's where I'm going to show my miserly side. Forgive me. When Tetsu brought back his bag of things a couple of weeks ago, I asked him if he was taking it back to the office since the person who had passed on wasn't a personal acquaintance. No. He had enclosed money from himself, not from the convalescent home. I did not say but thought,

"What! You have to give $50 to $100 every time you go to one of the convalescent home funerals? What is this going to do to our budget?"

Actually, this is an old situation and I've learned not to ask. It just makes me grumble. (I remember someone telling me in my early days of marriage that there were some things that it was just better not to ask about. I can think of numerous situations in my marriage that I knew if I delved into it further it could result in a major battle.) I do not need to know how much money Tetsu uses for "funeral expense." Anyway, Tetsu has gone to a couple of funerals this month.

This weekend we were invited to a memorial service for someone who had passed away last December. Of course there had been a funeral then and of course we followed the customs of giving money. I am not grumbling about that! This is the way it is done in Japan and we budget accordingly. For the memorial service the Buddhist priest attends and the altar is displayed much like it had been last year. After all the chanting, the family and friends are invited to a luncheon in honor of the person who has passed on. But of course, invited means that more money is enclosed and more presents are given. I politely bowed out of this service though the family repeatedly asked both Tetsu and me to attend. I really didn't think we could afford both of us going to the luncheon! As it was, Tetsu was checking the Internet about the proper amount of money to enclose for the memorial service and made a decision (we are not family or long time friends, close neighbor friends) about the amount. On top of that Tetsu really didn't really want to go at all. He wouldn't know many of the people attending, a lot of drinking is involved and Tetsu doesn't drink, Tetsu isn't very good at chit-chatting. But of course one of us had to attend and I was adamant that it wasn't going to be me.

To make a long story short Tetsu came back with his bag and was bemoaning the fact that he really should have enclosed more money. It was a very elaborate affair with a huge feast provided and of course a very large box as a gift.

"I shouldn't have been so stingy."

"Tetsu, this is ridiculous! If you don't go you insult the family. If you do go then it's painful on the pocketbook. Realistically, there are other things we need to spend our money on. And besides, if you're going to go at all, you should have gone with a loving heart."

"Then YOU should have gone!"

I think maybe except for the immediate family, a lot of social obligation goes along with this custom. Who except the Buddhist priest and the restaurant won in this situation? The family had to arrange a luncheon and gifts for 30 or more people and according to Tetsu it must have cost a wallop. The people going enclosed very large amounts of money. If any of them are like us, it is not really an amount they can afford. But I suppose the immediate family was happy that so many people attended and remembered the deceased in a rather joyful way instead of with all the tears that were abundant last year.

For the rest of the year you can be sure I'll be pinching pennies! Or pinching yen!

Lighting

Christmas lights are up both at the church and at our house. A couple of bright spots of color (aside from the convenience store lights) in the countryside.

Tetsu was just upstairs changing light bulbs for me and as a scrambled around in TWO rooms picking up patchwork blocks from the floor he said "No, go right ahead and leave them there. These are your rooms to use as you please. It doesn't matter that we can't walk in anymore. I'm a very understanding husband." He was not being sarcastic. He likes the downstairs picked up but he doesn't go upstairs much more than to sleep. Even so, it made me feel guilty and I really will clean the upstairs today! That means very little sewing again. If I could just get the When-oh-When quilt to flimsy stage it could come off the floor and either get packed away or brought downstairs to quilt or put under the sewing machine foot (haven't decided how I'm going to quilt it yet). Course the same could be said about the Wonky quilt. There are hearts and word blocks and animals all over the floor in the other room too. It's not that I use the rooms so much, just that each quilt seems to demand it's own room or at least a wall or a floor.

So here is a picture of the When-oh-When this morning. I'll pick it up and vacuum and then may put it back down.

And can you believe, this weekend I was putting the mini borders on the weeks of my 365 Challenge quilt and thought "hmmm. Something's funny...Wait a minute, it's not October, it's November!" For the whole dang month I've been writing 10/xx on these blocks! You would think I would notice before this late date! I am losing it.

Advice please!

I just had a scary experience. It took me 30 minutes to get into my blog to create a post and Blogger kept telling me I didn't have an account, there was no valid user name, they didn't have my password etc. I have no idea how I got into it now. After numerous attempts I just seemed to slip in but I don't know why.

Any advice? My first thought was "how am I going to let blogger friends know that I'm here but can't post?" Comment on my own blog? I think I could still do that. How would I get in contact with someone who would know how to put things right? Scary, scary.... Anyone ever had a similar experience? Is there some way to detour around the signing in? I usually just bookmark myself to the create page so that I don't do the signing in part and it had been so long since I'd signed in that I'd even forgotten how but I had all the information written down in a notebook so I knew I wasn't making a mistake.

Maybe I need to get another account, put myself down as a new member and then have two ways to get in. If anyone has any advice please let me know! And if you don't hear from me again know that I'm sobbing away in front of my computer!

Well. That wasn't how I'd planned to start this post today. I was going to tell you about going to Tetsu's convalescent home this week. They were having a family day and were displaying some of the things that the residents and care workers had made. For some reason Tetsu thought it would be a good idea to display some of my quilts so he had pinned those up on the walls. I came just to be supportive and see what some of the older people had made. I'm sure that most of the crafts had been given a lot of "help" by the care workers at the convalescent home since not too many of the residents have much understanding nor dexterity but still, the hall was very bright and cheerful.

Look at all these origami balls that were hanging along the hallway! I've tried doing these and they are really quite difficult and I was amazed at all the different shapes and types that could be found. One of the care workers must be a professional at making these or else she really likes origami!

And look at this set. Can you tell that these balls were made of newspaper advertisement paper? Very clever. And then there was this very bright and cheerful "vase" of origami lilies! This looked like it might have been an joint effort. Even the vase part had been made of painted newspaper rolled up in long, tight strips, woven together and then painted so that it looked like basketwork.

And the big event of the day was marshmallow bobbing. This is a take off on apple bobbing and instead of apples and a tub of water they were using marshmallows in a box of flour. The "fun" part was that the participant's face gets pushed into the flour as deeply as possible and they come up looking like a ghost! I was invited to participate so here I am completely covered in flour! I had flour in my ears and up my nose and even in the evening I was still sort of white and flaky. (Maybe I'm always flaky.)

Here's to hoping I can blog again tomorrow... If you don't here from me, check back at the comments in a few days. Keeping my fingers crossed...

Tamozawa Goyoutei

I wanted to show these pictures of the beautiful Tamozawa Emperor's Garden today. After the tea ceremony I wandered around the gardens (and was late for my next appointment!) but it was lovely with the autumn colors. I had to forgo the tour of the residence itself (I only saw a corner of it at the tea ceremony) but the pamphlet I picked up said it has 106 rooms in it. I can imagine the royal family gazing out over the garden while flurries of servants hover around.This is the front entrance and a tour group had just pulled up. Everyone is taking off their shoes as they go in.
Here is a view of the roof arch all made of wood.
The maple trees were gorgeous! I think the cold air makes the colors vibrant. It was really cold!Here is the side view of one of the rooms. I see this wing has glass in the windows. There is an outer walkway all around the room and also an inner walkway between the windows and the paper doors.Looking back at the residence from the gardens.
The beautiful pond was fed by a small stream that meandered through the gardens with stepping stones here and there. The outdoor paths were set with wooden logs and gravel which matched the setting beautifully.

Tea Ceremony

I had a very interesting day up in Nikko Wednesday when I was invited to attend an ocha kai. Ocha means tea and kai means gathering so in this case ocha kai means a tea ceremony where tea is performed and served to guests. The tea ceremony was being given by some of the kindergarten mothers (who are studying tea ceremony) for the oldest class of kindergarten students! Not only that, the tea ceremony hall that they were using was in Tamozawa Goyoutei, the summer residence of Japan's former emperors. (Now donated to Nikko, City). Why, oh, why anyone would want to take thirty kindergarten children to this very beautiful, valuable and quiet historical building I don't know and apparently some of the mothers were of the same opinion! But the kindergarten principal strongly encouraged the mothers to consider this a great learning opportunity for the children and pushed ahead with the plans.

A couple of days before going, all of us attending were given instructions about what we could and could not wear to the ceremony. No jeans allowed for either the mothers nor the children. White socks or split toed kimono socks were required. No jewelry or watches could be worn. The rule about the jeans is probably because this was a formal setting so one had to be properly attired. The white socks is just part of the propriety on entering a tea room and probably dates back to when everyone wore kimono anyway. The no jewelry rule is set so that all people participating are visibly on an equal level, are not limited by time, and also because the tea cup which is used for drinking the tea is very valuable and rings could scratch the surface and pendants could bang against it. Again, why, oh why are we letting kindergarten children handle these extremely valuable tea cups?!

I didn't really know what to expect when I arrived at the emperor's summer residence Wednesday morning, but I was directed to a wing of the palace hidden away in a lovely garden. I removed my shoes at the simple but very large entrance and then followed signs through a labyrinth of hallways and rooms until I found a cluster of kindergarten mothers all dressed in kimono, looking very nervous and awaiting the arrival of the kindergarten bus which was expected to arrive at any moment. I was ushered into a very cold room where 5 or 6 invited mothers were waiting but we were instructed that we weren't allowed to talk and instead we all sat quietly and formally on our knees.

Two sides of the room were closed off with paper window shades (shoji) and I ventured a peek out of one by sliding it open. To my surprise there were no glass windows or walls to separate us from the lovely moss covered garden and stream running past the palace. No wonder it was cold! Zero insulation! A few minutes passed and we were directed into the tea ceremony room where 15 of the children were now seated quietly on their knees waiting for the proceedings to begin. What a surprise to find that these normally unruly children had filed in quietly and were all serious and silent!

The tea ceremony began with the tea ceremony teacher formally (meaning with many deep bows and head nearly touching the tatami mats) welcoming us.

"Thank you for your honorable presence to our very humble tea ceremony. We serve you children today in celebration of your up-coming graduation from kindergarten (in March) and rejoice at the beginning of your scholarly school life." Many deep bows from all the children.

Next three kimono-ed mothers silently glided into the room carrying three or four tea implements that would be used in the ceremony and the children listened solemnly as each implement was explained. The three mothers glided silently out taking the implements with them, but immediately afterwards a whole troupe of kimono-ed mothers entered the room and positioned themselves here and there behind the guests to help as needed. (And maybe to make sure no child dropped a very expensive tea cup!)

Finally the mother performing the ceremony entered and began the intricate ritual of making tea, each movement precise and each position of her fingers and wrists controlled and patterned in an ancient rite. The children hardly dared to breathe and all sat as still as statues. Other mothers glided into the room carrying small sweet bean cakes on special white paper and laid one in front of each child. Bows were given and returned and then the first child was instructed to pick up paper and cake and bow slightly to the child sitting next to him and say "Please forgive me for partaking before you." and then the cake was delicately eaten. I had to hide my smiles as each child mimicked the child in front of him and politely repeated the phrase to the child on the other side of him! Who would have dreamt that children could be taught such manners!

Next the tea was served and again instructions were whispered to pick up the cup with both hands, turn it slightly away from you, bow to the person next to you again, sip the tea quickly, (only a few mouthfuls in there anyway) delicately wipe the cup rim with your fingers and return the cup to the position in front of you again. I could have clapped at how each little 5 year old managed to do as instructed and not one of them made a face or complained about the frothy green and very bitter tea!

The whole ceremony must have lasted 40 minutes and then we all were requested to admire the garden (open those paper doors) and the flower arrangement in the alcove. This too, the children did with grave faces. Finally they were led out of the room and through the maze of hallways to another room where they would wait for the next group of 15 children to finish what would be the same experience. My goodness! Such angels!

I wasn't able to stay through the next group's ceremony but I certainly hope they did as well as the first group! I'm sure it was an experience that all the children will remember for a long time!

Mrs. Ochiai

Today my friend Mrs. Ochiai came to help me out with my computer. Over the years Mrs. Ochiai has given me advice about my computer, come to my rescue when I am digitally confused and installed software for me. She is the friend who got me started on blogging in the first place! Today she gave me a lesson in making a Christmas/New Year's card with some software that I had forgotten how to use. Throughout the 5 hours that she was here I think that Mrs. Ochiai was tactfully trying to tell me that this computer is so old and slow and out-dated that I should just break-down and buy a new computer. That alone would solve a lot of my problems... but I'm not ready to do that yet so I have to ask her to figure out some way to make my slightly obsolete computer do some things that are really supposed to be easy to accomplish. Anyway, thanks to Mrs. Ochiai who reconnected me to MSN, hopefully I'll be able to get in contact with Takumi again. I also hope to make my cards this weekend before I forget all she told me today!

Although we had a very nice time, one minor problem is that Mrs. Ochiai doesn't like cats! (She likes dogs though.) Of course she knows I have four cats yet she willingly steps into my cat filled house to help me. If only the cats would just leave her alone! But no, they seem to be not the least bit insulted of Mrs. Ochiai's aversion to them and would suddenly jump up on the computer desk or even dare to leap onto her lap. We finally had to lock them out of the room which meant we played with the computer in the cold. I'm sure Mrs. Ochiai was exhausted just from protecting herself from my cats all day! (If you look carefully you can see all four of them sitting together in that chair!)

Thank you Mrs. Ochiai!