I'm just mulling things over in my head again today. Wondering about things I want, things I think I need and things I decide I deserve.
I could make you a list of the things that I think I need. A new computer. A new digital camera. A new sewing machine. But what really is a necessity? I will need a new whatever when this one breaks down and I can foresee that if I suddenly had to do without then I would be in big trouble. But is this really a need? At least right now is it a need? It's more of a want.
I want a new computer in case this one breaks. It would be nice to have a faster more up to date one. But it's not a necessity yet.
I need a new camera. For the same above reasons. ...just in case. But the one I have is working still. It isn't a need yet is it?
A new sewing machine. (What? She's never mentioned this one before.) Well, I've been using the one I have for quite a while... Then yesterday I found a newer, better, stronger one. One I could drool over and would make my sewing so much more beautiful! Do I need it? No. Do I want it? Definitely yes! Here we come to the word deserve.
I don't like the word deserve. A couple years ago when I was visiting the States I heard it a lot. "You deserve it. Go ahead! Splurge! Eat it! Buy it! Do it!" But do I deserve any of the treats in life? There are a lot of people who have nothing and suffer through their days. Do they deserve any of that? The old hymn comes to mind, Count Your Blessings. God has blessed me beyond belief with material and immaterial things, yet I can talk myself into believing I deserve more. Using the word deserve makes me feel like my want will turn into my need and it is okay to satisfy the need. I feel it's okay to break my budget, my convictions, my self-control. "You've stayed on your diet for two days. You deserve the ice cream." "Go ahead you deserve it, you've scrimped and saved enough." "It's something you need and use. You deserve a new whatever."
All these nice toys will stay on my wish list. If one of my old ones breaks, you know I'll be knocking at the store door the minute it opens! But I have other commitments for my money that I need to fulfill for the next few years so I'm going to try to stay away from the deserve mentality for awhile. This may not seem very smart economically to some people. Buy when something is on sale not when you absolutely need it and can only get it at full price. But I don't have enough self-control to stay on that plan very long. I can talk myself into anything! I'm also not promising to not buy any of the toys on my wish list (don't hold me to any of this!) I'm not planning to be a martyr! I may even try to put aside a little Just-For-Me money. (In Japan we call this hesokuri.) And when it comes to the smaller things in life that give me enjoyment, FABRIC for one, then I intend to add a little here and there just to put a smile into my day!