Tetsu is a natural born nurturer. He's not around much during our normal days but when I get under the weather he comes through with flying colors! His presence is comforting and he works like a beaver so that I feel guilty for all that I don't do and don't get done for him. Yesterday he spent most of the morning when I was sleeping, cleaning the upstairs. Yes, I knew the laundry room was getting out of hand but I didn't realize he'd have to work an hour or more folding clothes, stacking Christmas boxes and putting the whole room back together! And this morning, Tetsu's worked an hour or so vacuuming, cleaning Choco's cage, shaking out sofa covers and in general making the downstairs nice. Tetsu has always been someone who can fix something that is broken, who cheerfully does the dirty work, and he has old-fashioned ideas of "men-work" and "women-work" which I guess doesn't include vacuuming and folding laundry.
28 years ago I finally accepted Tetsu's proposal of marriage the night he stayed at my apartment until 2:00 AM un-thawing the pipes that had frozen. We lived in icy Morioka where the temperatures plummeted in the winter and I would wake up in the mornings with a layer of ice on the bathwater (bathwater is reheated for multiple usage). We had dated for over a year and Tetsu had already introduced the topic of marriage but I just couldn't see me living out my life in Japan, not to mention that I didn't really speak Japanese all that well and Tetsu's English was nil. International marriage? Very impractical idea.
However, in late January after an all day date Tetsu took me back to my frozen apartment where I found that the pipes had frozen. Being a Southern California girl I had absolutely no idea how to go about de-frosting them but Tetsu took over and spent an hour or more wrapping the outdoor pipes in towels and pouring hot water over them (probably had to break the ice in the bathtub to get the water to begin with!) There I was, in the warm apartment and Tetsu outside in the frozen night air cheerfully taking care of me. That night it struck me that I'd found somebody I'd be safe with for the rest of my life even if it did mean I'd be living in Japan. I was good for him (I made him laugh) and he was good for me. But I think I got the better deal.
Even though it sounds very old fashioned, Tetsu is still cheerfully taking care of me. I don't know about how much I make him laugh but he says I'm good for him and I know he's the best for me!
Sorry. When I'm sick I get all gushy and nostalgic.
17 comments:
We should all get gushy and nostalgic more often! Thanks for the insight into your relationship with Tetsu, who sounds like a paragon.
So many times you see young couples and you think "The first crisis, and this marriage is going to go south in a major way." And unfortunately it's often true. Is it unrealistic expectations? No experience with compromise? Self-absorption and narcissism? Who knows, but in so many marriages, the first little patch of rough water, one of them is out the door.
That's so sweet, Tanya. You are one blessed woman to find such a wonderful man and he's blessed, too!
Old-fashioned is good. Hope you feel better soon.
You sound absolutely blessed! But then, so does Tetsu!
That's so sweet! Thank you for sharing your story.
I'm so sorry to hear that you're a bit under the weather. Do you feel tempted to keep on feeling poorly a bit longer, just to keep on being looked after?
I'm lucky too, my DH is so good at being sympathetic and looking after me. Get well soon.
Your story brought a tear and a smile to me. May the Lord continue to bless both of you.
Take care & get well soon.
I Love it when you get all gushy and nostalgic it makes me feel the same!
David and I were just good friends when he went off to see the World, he'd been gone about 6 months when he wrote from the UK... Why don't you come over and we'll get married or something... I wrote back... What's the 'or something'... when I arrived in London the wedding was arranged for the following Saturday and that was 40 years ago :-) Not as romantic as fixing frozen water pipes but it worked for me!
I had a similar experience when I decided Shreed was right for me. He took a splinter out of my foot--carefully, without any ulterior motive. For 20 years he's been taking care of me, the houses we've lived in, and all the computers! Plus feeding the cats sometimes and letting me sleep in!
Wow, this is the first time that I heard this nice story, Tanya. I know you are the best for Tetsu and Testu is the best for you, because I have been observing both of you for 25 years. I hope you feel better soon!!
I hope you feel better soon Tanya. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with recognizing what you have and appreciating your husband.
Tanja, I hope you feel better,
Your post about you and Tetsu is very sweet.
ciao ciao
What a great love story! Feel better soon.
Nothing wrong with gushy and nostalgic! Sounds like you landed yourself a prince charming. How could you say no after that? I'm so sorry you are under the weather - there is so much sickness around here right now - bad, bad colds and complications - is that true in your area also? Not a good time of year to be sick. Feel better soon, OK? Sending healing thoughts and prayers your way.
Just after Nigel and I got engaged he had to look after me for 10 weeks while I was convalescing after a major op = I was 99.9% certain I wanted to marry him when we got engaged - after the ten weeks I was 110% certain - he's never stopped looking after me since and I do my best to look after him and our children too - hope you feel better soon Tanya and full marks to Tetsu for being such a lovely caring husband :o)
I'd love to hear the whole story about your meeting Tetsu. Perhaps you have told it before in another post (refer me to that) or maybe not. It must be an interesting story about an American girl in Japan.
How did your mother-in-law-to-be feel about the romance? How did your parents feel?
You obviously made the right choice. Bless you both.
Sorry you weren't feeling well - hopefully you're completely better now.
I feel as fortunate as you to have a caring husband.
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